[VIBRATING-WITH-URGENT-CEO-ENERGY]

— Poppy, Chief Snorting Officer, calling emergency board meeting about YOUR schedule

Stop Losing $8,640/Year to No-Shows.

Mobile grooming CRM that routes smarter, reminds harder, and gets you paid faster. Built by a puppy CEO who's sniffed your P&L and honestly it smells bad.

2
No-shows/week
×
$90
Avg groom
=
$8,640
Lost annually
Stop the Bleeding — 7 Days Free Show Me How (I'm skeptical)

Marcus in Denver recovered $15,600/year. Sarah in Portland added 2 appointments/day without more driving. Jen avoided a $5K lawsuit with one Body Map photo.

The Stuff That Actually Makes You Money

[HEAD-TILT-TORNADO] — Wait, you don't have route optimization? You're driving past House B to get to House C then BACK to House B? Fleurff-de-bork, that's not how noses work.

✓

Smart Scheduling

THE 'OUCH': Zigzag routes = $420/week in wasted gas

Purple prompts suggest appointments when you're already nearby. Save 60-90 min/day. Sarah added 2 grooms/day with ZERO extra driving.

✓

No-Show Killer

THE 'BLEED': 2 no-shows/week = $8,640/year GONE

Automated SMS reminders + card-on-file + no-show charges. Marcus cut no-shows from 8/month to 0.5/month in 30 days.

✓

Body Map (Legal Shield)

THE 'PANIC': One false claim = $5,000 in legal fees

30-second pre-groom photo documentation. Jen got accused of 'cutting' a dog during nail trim. Pulled up Body Map. Case dismissed. Client apologized.

✓

Van Health Monitor

THE 'EMBARRASSING': Running out of water mid-groom

Auto-tracks water usage by dog weight. Alerts you before you run dry. Generator maintenance reminders so you don't forget oil changes.

✓

Mobile Invoicing

THE 'AWKWARD': Chasing payment 3 weeks later

Accept cards, Venmo, cash. Send digital receipts instantly. Track who owes you. VIP badges for your best tippers (Marcus's top client averages $15 tip).

✓

Revenue Analytics

THE 'SURPRISE': You make MORE money on Thursdays

Track earnings by day, route, neighborhood. Find your most profitable areas. Stop guessing which zip codes to market to.

Real Groomers, Real Numbers

(I saved their emails. Want screenshots? I'll send them. I'm not bluffing.)

"Added the $15 mobile fee like Poppy yelled at me to do. Zero complaints from clients. $15,600 extra this year. I cried."
Marcus — Denver, CO
+$15,600/year
"Smart Time Suggestions are scary accurate. It's like having a routing genius riding shotgun. 2 extra appointments per day, same gas."
Sarah — Portland, OR
+10 grooms/week
"Client threatened to sue over a 'cut' that was there before I arrived. Body Map saved me $5,000 minimum. I use it every single groom now."
Jen — Location withheld for privacy
$5K lawsuit avoided

Pricing (Don't Be Soft About This)

Starter
$29 /month
  • ✓ CRM + Scheduling
  • ✓ Email reminders
  • ✓ Client portal
  • ✓ Body Map legal protection
  • ✗ SMS reminders
  • ✗ Stripe payments
Most groomers pick this
Pro
$59 /month
  • ✓ Everything in Starter
  • ✓ SMS reminders (dedicated number)
  • ✓ Stripe payments (3.4% + $0.30)
  • ✓ AI scheduling assistant (Gemini)
  • ✓ Route optimization
  • ✓ Van health tracking
Your cost: ~$6/month. Your revenue gain: $15,600/year (if you add the mobile fee like Marcus did).
Premium
$99 /month
  • ✓ Everything in Pro
  • ✓ Churn automation
  • ✓ Advanced AI (Claude Haiku)
  • ✓ Multi-groomer scheduling
  • ✓ Priority support

You think $59/month is expensive? [COUCH-CAPER: sitting on this fact, not moving]

You're losing $180/week to no-shows. That's $720/month. PawPad costs $59.

The math isn't mathing and I'm a puppy with four toes who can see this.

I'm Staring At You

[STARE-DOWN with unblinking bug eyes]

Every day you wait costs you $60 in no-shows + wasted gas. That's $420/week you're donating to... nobody. It just DISAPPEARS.

I will sit here all day. I have nothing else to do. My schedule is:

  • 6am: Staring at you about this
  • 9am: Snacks
  • 11am: [NAP-NINJA]
  • 2pm: Back to staring at you
  • 5pm: Still staring

No credit card required. Cancel anytime. But you won't. Because math.